Moondust
by Reiz Voll1
Summary: Ellana Lavellan fell for Solas first but when the breakup brakes her, she ends up falling for the last person she thought she would, her commnder. This chapter starts in the midst of the DA:I story, but will have flashes back to the beginnings in chapters to follow. Not sure how long it will be, but I’m excited to share!
1. Dreamcatcher

Ellana found herself wandering Skyhold in a daze. Her lack of sleep was starting to catching up to her. It wasn't so much that sleep wouldn't come, but that she didn't want to. Sleep meant nightmares or dreaming, and lately, she was more afraid of the dreams than the nightmares. Ever since Solas decided to end their… relationship (if you could truly have called it that) she had suffered many nights dreaming of him. For all she knew it was him, given one of their first conversations at Skyhold when he took her back to Haven in their shared dream. In her own dreams, she didn't always see him as much as felt him. Solas was a very powerful dreamer and being in such close proximity made it hard to avoid the energy he gave off. Although, with the mark, she was quite the powerful dreamer herself these days. That's actually how she came to learn about Cullen's nightmares.

Being a mage, she had always dreamed in the fade, but only possessed a small amount of control there. Since being marked with the anchor during the conclave explosion, she had found herself hounded by nightmares and dreams that seemed so real she would wake up screaming and thrashing. Solas suspected that the anchor had something to do with this and the Avvar augur at Stone-bear Hold had confirmed it when they met.

"To those beyond the veil, your hand burns like the watchman's bonfire.", the augur had said after having introduced Ellana to the spirits in his hut.

"Are you saying that every spirit in the fade knows where I am?", she asked with growing horror.

"Only those nearby, but thoughts spread quickly among the gods.", he replied. By "gods" she knew he meant spirits, but it was still no less unnerving.

After that, she and Solas had agreed that Ellana required more training in controlling her dreams. In the meantime, though, they would seek out something to help block spirits from being able to see her while sleeping, which is when she was most vulnerable. The answer actually came from her own mother.

Ellana had mentioned the issue to her mother in a letter and her reply had made Ellana thump her palm on her forehead. Somniar arla, why hadn't she thought of that! The humans might call it a sort of "dreamcatcher", which is exactly what it did, although it was mostly used to catch nightmares. The materials to make them were specific to the needs of the dreamer; cloth might be used to offer healing along with beads made of iron to offer the dreamer strength. Ellana's needs were greater than what those materials could offer though, and it took quite a bit of research to determine what would work best for her unique circumstances. She needed it to be strong enough to ward off any spirits that might try to gain purchase in her mind, but more importantly, she wanted to be hidden from the spirits in the fade. She wanted to be able to dream in solitude, which would enable her to complete the dream training that Solas was giving her. Ultimately, her mother, Solas, and Ellana had determined that her somniar arla should include a hoop made of a torc of wild ivory vines for mental resistance wrapped in halla leather for stealth, halla horn beads wrapped in imperial vestment cotton for healing, and most importantly, beads made from a revenant's heart for cleansing. Since revenants were incredibly rare, this last bit was a monumental challenge to obtain. According to her mother though, it was the best way to keep malevolent sprits at bay and offer the solitude she required while dreaming. Given Corypheus's immense power and ability to manipulate those around him from afar, it became a top priority to locate a revenant.

Luck was again on Ellana's side (if you could call what she had, luck) while exploring Din'an Hanin, the resting place of the Emerald Knights. After fighting through venatori and red templars, Ellana, Solas, Cole, and Iron Bull entered a chamber that had been home to a revenant since a time long-forgotten. Having never battled a revenant before, Ellana was impressed, albeit terrified, by the magic that radiated from its being. The fight was intense and there were more than a few close calls. The revenant continually blocked spell after spell and Ellana was relieved that she had brought Iron Bull with her that day. Cole was essential as well in flitting about while striking killing blows. All Ellana and Solas could really do was try to keep it busy and wear it down - oh, and not die.

Once Ellana had the materials from her mother's list, she then had all the reasons she needed to make a special trip to visit her clan. Her mother had made "dreamcatchers" for others in their clan and was especially skilled at working with the materials needed. Ellana had asked Solas if he would like to travel with her, Cullen, Dorian, and Iron Bull, but he had declined. Ellana didn't push, how could she? She had gotten used to the emotional orbit that seemed to be the nature of their relationship. As for the others, Dorian and Iron Bull were just happy to get out of Skyhold and be alone for a time, while Cullen had business regarding the red templars in the Free Marches area. There were also several meetings for Ellana and Cullen to attend in order to gain some additional Inquisition allies. Ellana's being a mage and an unknown dalish elf, limited her ability to wield any real influence, so Josie felt that Cullen could help by accompanying her. He had, after all, spent several months campaigning by himself in order to gain allies for the Inquisition prior to the conclave.

"Plus, he's such a handsome poster boy for our cause.", Leliana had added with a smirk on her lips.

"Surely I have better things to offer than my face.", Cullen grumbled. Ellana could tell that he wasn't looking forward to being so far from Skyhold and his "command desk", although Sera had dubbed it the "center of the whole empire" after a well needed round of pranks in which they slipped a bit of paper under his desk to make it wobble. The thought of this made Ellana giggle aloud.

"I'm so glad to see everyone is so amused.", Cullen said while rubbing his neck.

"Oh no, I was thinking about something else entirely.", Ellana said as she grinned and patted him on the arm.

"Do I even want to know?", he asked.

"The empire won't fall apart while we're gone, I promise.", Ellana said smiling.

"Right…", Cullen replied then turned to walk back to his office. Ellana thought she caught a bit of red on his cheeks just as he turned. He did tend to blush easily, at least as far as she could tell.

After Ellana had finished talking with Leliana and Josie about her travel plans and being instructed by Josie (again) about proper etiquette while meeting the various nobles and potential allies, she decided to try asking Solas if he had changed his mind about accompanying her. The possibility was remote, she knew, but her heart couldn't help it. She was drawn to him since they had first met. Maybe some of that had more to do with him also being elven, at least as far as looks were concerned, but that's where the similarities ended. He was unlike any of the men she grew up with in her clan. He had a stoic nature that offered her strength, and a commitment to himself and his beliefs that she admired. He didn't share as much as she did, although she had hoped to glean more from his past in sharing her own. This only went so far though. He didn't seem to hold back because he wanted to but because of a profound sadness inside him. Ellana could see it flash across his face whenever they locked eyes for longer than a moment. She often wondered what had happened in his past to cause him to shut down with every step closer they had come together. This made the few intimate moments they had shared all the more sweet, like a hard won victory of the heart. But, inevitably, he would pull back into himself, leaving Ellana to wonder even more as to why he was holding back.

As she entered the rotunda, she noticed the new mural he had finished which detailed the events at Haven. She gasped at the imagery. How could something so terrible look so beautiful at the same time. She became lost in the details and had nearly forgotten why she had walked in when she heard Solas close the book his was reading.

"Oh! You startled me!", she said as she jumped slightly at the sound.

"My apologies.", he said, standing from his desk and moving to stand beside her. They both stood studying his work for a a few minutes before he finally said, "Thoughts?"

"It's… amazing and… sad", she replied, while still looking over the imagery. "I still remember the heat of the flames on my neck, the smell of…", she paused, "All of those lives. I wish I could have saved more, done more."

"You did all that you could vehnan. We all did.", he said turning towards her. Ellana's heart fluttered every time he called her that, vehnan, my heart. She smiled a little and gazed into his eyes for a moment before he broke the silence again.

"Was there something you required?", he asked breaking their gaze as he looked down and returned to his desk.

"Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. I know you had said that you were not able to travel with us… with me, but I was wondering if maybe you had changed your mind.", she blurted out a bit quicker than she had intended and clearly lacking the self control she had tried to convey.

"I am sorry vehnan, there is much that I still need to research and I am expecting a delivery of some tomes that are vital to our cause. Hopefully I will uncover more information regarding Corypheus within them before your return.", he replied, shuffling some papers on his desk.

"I understand, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push.", she said and turned to walk towards the great hall. Solas gently grabbed her hand and she turned to look at him.

"Perhaps I will be able to meet your clan another time.", he said softly, causing Ellana's heart to break just a bit more.

"Sure!", she said, trying her best to not let him see how hurt she was feeling.

She squeezed his hand and then left to go pack her things. It would take a couple weeks to complete their trip and she would have more than enough time to try to think of ways to draw him out from his self-imposed solitude.


	2. In Dreams

Ellana woke up and realized she was on the couch in the rotunda. As she went to sit up a tome slid off her lap onto the floor. When she leaned down to pick it up she noticed some paint on the floor. Ellana looked up expecting to see Solas on the scaffolding painting but he was no where to be seen.

"Solas?", she asked into the empty room.

Something felt off… Solas was not the clumsy sort to spill paint, and he was certainly not so careless as to leave it if he had. Just as she finished her thought, she noticed a slight movement from the corner of her eye. The paint on the floor had started flowing under the couch where she was sitting. Ellana's eyes followed the path of the blood red paint to the mural nearest her, the mural depicting the massacre at Haven. Ellana recalled when she first saw it and how it had filled her with such awe and sorrow at the same time. But this mural had changed, it was streaked with the same blood red paint from the floor. Ellana's mind started to reel as she witnessed movement throughout the mural. People… people were running… running for cover and… and burning. Just then, she started to hear screams, the screams of those being burned alive. Horror was quickly taking hold of her and she didn't even realize she was trying to get up and move away from the gruesome scene until the back of the couch prevented her retreat. A thunderous screech echoed in the room piercing her ears, the screech of the Corypheus's dragon as he swooped down, pouring molten death over all of Haven. As Ellana witnessed Haven burn, again, right before her eyes, fire spilled out onto the floor and started to flow along the blood trail on the floor to where Ellana was helplessly paralyzed. As the flames started to lick up her sides, she tried to scream but no sound came out… at first.

"VEHNAN!", Solas cried out as Ellana woke up screaming and thrashing her arms and covers about while moving back away from the fire she was certain would consume her. Solas grasped her arms and tried to gain eye contact as Ellana's eyes continued to sweep about the room in a horrified panic. "It's not real vehnan, you are in no real danger, it was just a test. Do you recall, you are training to protect your dreaming mind?", he asked, still holding her arms. It took a moment but Ellana started to come out of the fog the dream had left her in.

"I understand, and yes, I remember.", she said and took a deep breath. "I failed again."

"This will be easier once you have the somniar arla from you mother. You will be able to focus and build your mental strength, and resistance while dreaming. It takes some dreamers a lifetime to master the skills you are trying to learn in a very short time.", Solas informed her as he released his hold of her, setting his hands in his lap. Ellana nodded and she felt tears fall from her cheeks… she hadn't realized that she had been crying.

Solas reached up and wiped her tears away, "Ir abelas, vehnan."

Ellana could feel the warmth of where his hand had been on her cheek. She placed her own hand there to try and prolong the feeling.

"Are you certain this will work?", she asked sitting up and crossing her legs.

"As certain as I can be with anything regarding the mark you bear. It has challenged much of what was "known" prior to its existence.", he said and stood up.

"Do you have to go?", Ellana asked looking up to where he now stood by the bed. As soon as she had said it, she saw it, that same sadness that would sweep across his face. Although, for a slight moment beforehand, she saw the same desire she felt in her own heart.

"I should leave you to prepare for your journey.", he said as his stance straightened, demonstrating his resolve to leave.

"You're right, there is still quite a bit left to do.", she agreed and rose to stand on the other side of the bed.

"Will you see me off?", she asked.

"Yes, I will.", he replied, turning and walking towards the stairs.

Once Ellana had heard the door close, she sighed and sat down on the floor with her back against her bed, placing her arms across her knees to support her chin. She looked out her balcony windows and tried not to think about her dream, but mostly, she tried not to think about Solas.

"Take all the time you need.", she had told him following their first encounter in dreams. Would she have tried to kissed him if it hadn't been in a dream? She couldn't say. At the time, she didn't even realize it _was_ a dream.

They had walked around Haven and Solas had explained how he had struggled to study the mark on her hand and it's connection the the breach in the sky. With no answers in sight, he told he had nearly resigned himself to leave… until she stabilized the breach.

"It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture… and right then, I felt the whole world change.", he told her turning to face her.

"Felt the whole world change?", she asked with a smirk moving across her lips.

"A figure of speech.", he replied with a very slight smile of his own.

"I'm familiar with the metaphor, I'm more interested in "felt".", she said as she stepped closer to him only stopping when she could feel his breath on her face.

There was a war of control waging in his eyes. "You change… everything.", he said locking his eyes with hers. She gave him a moment to make the first move before she made it herself.

"Sweet-talker.", she said and grabbed his neck and pulled his face down to hers. As their lips met she felt a jolt like lightening shoot up her body and back down to settle in her stomach. Before he could offer an objection, she pulled away and turned to leave. Solas caught her arm and pulled her back to him, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in for a kiss that had a force of passion behind it that Ellana had never felt before. All thoughts left her mind and she melted against his body and every nerve from her lips to her core burst to life. He pulled back and their eyes locked. For a moment, she saw right through him, as if every wall he had carefully erected had been obliterated. With a quick gasp escaping her lips he pulled her in for another deep kiss before pulling away.

"We shouldn't. It isn't right. Not even here.", he told her.

"What do you mean, "even here"?", she asked.

"Where did you think we were?", he replied.

That was the first time she really "looked" around and acknowledged a nagging feeling she hadn't previously noticed in the back of her mind.

"This isn't real.", Ellana replied with a growing awareness of her surroundings.

Solas smiled and said, "That's a matter up for debate… probably best discussed after you _wake up_."


	3. Packed & Ready

Ellana didn't usually sleep well before traveling; she could never quiet her mind. She would lay there running through her lists in her head: clothes, personal supplies, food, reports, and so on until she just gave up and got out of bed.

The moon was full and shone in through her balcony windows, creating a silvery sheen over everything in her room, with the exception of the warm orange glow coming from the embers in her fireplace. With a quick gesture of her hand, flames burst to life in the hearth again, causing her shadow to dance on the wall.

"Where to begin?" she sighed to herself.

She looked around her room and her eyes rested on the pile of supplies she had started packing last night. Her main pack was ready to go at all times since a mission could require her to leave with very little notice, but this trip was going to be a bit longer than most. She estimated it might take a full month, maybe more depending on what obstacles they faced on their way. Travel always carried some measure of danger, but these were not normal days. Inevitably they would come across an emergency, a rift, or red templars… oh, and venatori.

"Sneaky bastards," she thought, "They're crafty, I'll give them that."

Before she could let her mind wander further, she grabbed her list off her desk and moved over to her pile of supplies and started looking through each pack, making sure to note items that were still missing.

The sun peaked over the mountain tops and spilled into her room just as she was finishing up. This was her favorite time of the day. A couple of weeks back, while in Val Royeaux, she had ordered new stained glass windows for her room. They featured trees and plants in greens, reds, and yellows to mimic scenes from the areas that her clan typically roamed.

"I'll see them again soon enough," she reminded herself, smiling and stretching as she walked over to the stairs to go down for breakfast.

As she entered the hall she saw Dorian already seated at the table.

"Good morning my dear!" he greeted her.

"Good morning!" Ellana replied smiling.

"Are you all packed? It always takes me forever; I never know what I'll want to wear and, Maker knows, there won't be many shops able to fulfill my high standards along the way."

Ellana laughed, "I'm ready."

"How long has it been since you've been home?" Dorian asked as Ellana poured herself some more coffee.

"Four months. I left a week before the conclave began and haven't been back since."

"Well, I'm sure they'll be delighted to see you again, and I know you could use the break."

"I could."

The hall was starting to come to life now as the smell of breakfast was flowing through the air. Ellana and Dorian were in their normal spots at the end of the table. The spot at the head of the table between them was reserved for Iron Bull.

"I need the elbow room and the space for plates," he had said one evening. "You and Dorian don't eat as much as I do. Plus, it gives me a good view so I can watch the room."

"Well, you certainly do keep the kitchen staff busy, "Dorian replied, and smirked at Ellana.

"Hey! It takes a lot of fuel to keep all this muscle up. I don't hear you complaining when we go all night," Bull had said with a smile spreading on his lips, knowing it bothered Dorian when he shared details of their relationship aloud.

Ellana had spit out her mouthful of drink onto the floor as Dorian's face flushed red.

Since then that's were the three of them had sat. The others moved their seats around, not seeming to prefer a specific spot, but they would all gather together as the table filled. Cullen and Solas were the exceptions, opting to take meals at their desks; if they even remembered to take a meal.

"I know I'll be glad to visit civilization, well, as civilized as the south can manage," Dorian continued, wiping his mouth and adjusting his mustache with a quick twist between his fingers.

"Wait until you see how my clan lives," Ellana said grinning and then laughed. "I'll let you bunk in the arravel so you don't have to sleep on the ground or in a tree."

"How kind!"

"You know I'll take care of my best friend."

"Naturally."

"I don't know if your arravels can handle a night with Dorian and I," Bull said sitting down.

"Vishante kaffas!" Dorian exclaimed. "Must you insist on being so…"

"Me?" Bull asked. "You blush, but you love it."

Ellana shook her head and stood up.

"I'm going to see if Minowen is ready. Master Dennet insisted on preparing her himself. I'll see you outside within the hour so we can get to our first campsite before dark," she said turning and walking towards the rotunda.

Upon seeing her direction, Bull and Dorian shared a knowing glance.

"You know that's not going to end well," Bull told Dorian picking up some more sausage and taking a bite.

"Yes, but you can't tell her that. It's something she, unfortunately, needs to learn on her own," Dorian replied, his smile leaving his face. He cared deeply for his friend and wanted more than anything to spare her from the pain he could see coming, but he also knew her. In anything else, she would have readily heeded his advice, but in this, she was blind. "Aren't we all?" he thought to himself, looking over at Bull as he finished his 3rd plate of food.

Ellana took a deep breath before pushing through the door to the rotunda. "Don't push, don't pout, just say goodbye," she told herself and entered the room.

"Good morning vehnan," Solas said, not even needing to turn around to see who it was. He was very sensitive the magic the mark on her hand radiated and could often sense her before he even saw her.

Ellana melted every time he called her that; my heart. She then had to quickly repeat her goals in her mind, "Don't push, don't pout, just say goodbye."

"Good morning!" she replied, doing her best to sound cheery.

"Were you able to get any rest?" he asked turning to face her.

"No, but that's normal for me before I travel."

Ellana walked over to his desk, making sure to try and stand on the opposite side. She glanced at the many papers and tomes on his desk, trying her best to casually avoid eye contact with him. She could see the notes they had made together while studying the dreamcatcher her mother was to make for her.

"I hope it works," she said picking up the page of notes to glance over them.

"I believe it will."

"Things seldom "work" for us, you know that right?"

"Have some faith vehnan. I'm sure your mother would not have said she could if it wasn't so."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I am just ready for some real rest. It's bad enough I have to face these real nightmares when I'm awake, but having to face them when I sleep as well…"

Before she could object, he was standing in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He then placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. Their eyes met and she could feel her resolve breaking. She wanted to curl up into his arms and fall asleep there. She wanted to forget about the hole in the sky, about Corypheus, the templars, about everything and everyone.

He gave a slight grin, "Relief is just a few weeks away. Once you are stronger you'll be able to shape your own dreams with little effort."

"What about while I'm on the road? What if it gets too bad?"

"Just practice what we discussed. Before you lay down, calm your mind and assert your control, just as you would on the field of battle."

"Right…" she said with a slight nod.

They stood there for another moment and she thought he looked like he might embrace her when she heard a cough.

Ellana closed her eyes and dropped her head. There was always an audience in this damn room. Even if someone wasn't standing at the railing looking down, there was almost always someone in the library or rookery above.

"Dareth shiral, ma vhenan." Solas said as he squeezed her shoulders and turned back to his desk.

Ellana started walking towards Cullen's office and paused, turning back to see him shuffling his papers.

"Keep me posted on any progress you make in your research?" she asked.

"Ma nuvenin." he replied tilting his head to nod to her but never turning around.

Once outside the door Ellana took a moment to lean her back against the stone wall. She quickly glanced around to see if anyone was watching and took a deep breath to compose herself before heading to talk with Cullen. She closed her eyes and put her head back against the wall.

"Why does he hide his feelings away?" she asked herself. She understood wanting to be professional, but he took it to the extreme. But there was more to it than that; the sadness she saw in his eyes. She didn't have to possess any special skills to see it. Whatever it was, he was not going to easily let it go.

She opened her eyes, straightened up, and walked towards Cullen's office. She had no idea that Cullen had been watching.

Cullen wasn't trying to spy, but had been looking out his window just as she walked out of the rotunda onto the walkway to his office. He could see the pained look on her face as she glanced around, probably to see if anyone had noticed her. He almost looked away, not wanting to intrude on her private moment, but he found himself staring.

"Why does she do this to herself?" he wondered. "Why indeed," he huffed at himself noting that he was doing it to himself as well. How long had he longed to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her? Longer than he could really recall, although he was certain it was not long after having met her. "Admit it," he thought to himself, "it was as soon as you laid eyes on her."

The hours following the explosion at the conclave had been near chaos; but he had been through the massacre at the circle tower, and the rebellion in Kirkwall; he knew what to do.

"Rylan! Get your men ready, we are going up to do a search for survivors." Cullen shouted as he grabbed his sword and mantle.

It was the middle of the night. He had come back to Haven to ready his men for the next day's inspection, and to get a blessed break from the talks at the conclave. He didn't slept much due to his withdrawal symptoms.

"Andraste preserve me, would they ever lessen?" he asked himself each night.

Just as he had started to drift off into a hazy, exhausted sleep, he heard and felt something he knew all too well. It was a massive explosion, even stronger than when that apostate, Anders, blew up the chantry.

Cullen threw open the flap from his tent and was blinded by a green glow that was tearing across the sky. Been tendrils were arching down towards the ground. Aftershocks began to shake ground as debris started to fall around the camp area. Men and women were screaming and running for cover.

The next hour was a blur that found him shouting orders and leading his men up the mountain to the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

As they crested the top of the mountain, an area that used to welcome pilgrims to the sacred site, was now littered with burning bodies and rubble. Cullen froze for a moment, recalling the circle, Kirkwall… "how many times would he have to see such tragedy?" he thought to himself.

"Over here Sir!", Rylen called out. "A survivor!"

Cullen pulled himself back from his thoughts and ran over to where Rylen was standing over a small elven woman.

"The first scouts on the scene say she fell out of… out of…" Rylen was having a hard time repeating what they had told him.

"OUT WITH IT MAN!" Cullen shouted.

Rylen straightened up and said, "They say she fell out of the fade."

"What?!?"

"Thats's just what they said. They said there was a woman behind her as she fell. Andraste."

"Ugh!" Cullen exclaimed wiping his hand down his face in frustration. He'd have to talk with the scouts later to sift through this nonsense.

Cullen stooped down to get a better look at the woman when a green glow exploded from her left hand. At that same moment, the hole that had appeared in the sky pulsed and sent more debris flying. That's also when the first demons appeared.

It was an hour of fighting for their lives before reinforcements finally arrived, giving Cullen an opportunity to remove the sole survivor back to Haven. As he carried her down the trails, he noticed her hand would glow and pulse each time the breech in the sky did, and it was spreading…

At one point she even woke to cry out and mumbled something about "why?" and "grey".

"What did that even mean?" he thought to himself.

She was so small and frail in his arms. She was also very lovely. Even in the mayhem he could see that. Her pale features glowed in the night sky and her light hair flowed down in long waves. Her full red lips were slightly parted and almost begged to be kissed.

"What is wrong with you man!" he chastised himself and cursed under his breath.

Cullen was always so focused on his work he didn't take much notice of the women around him. Apparently it took an explosion to do that. Looking down at her again he could see that she had blood on her face and on her robes. Robes… she was a mage! He hadn't even noticed when he scooped her up in all of the chaos around him. He nearly dropped her right then as he stopped suddenly realizing he could be holding the very person responsible for the explosion.

"Another Anders!" he thought to himself almost sneering. "No! I won't do that again!" he told himself, shaking his head. "I will not judge her before I know for certain. Let Cassandra figure this out," and he continued down the mountain to Haven.

Cullen's thoughts of that night were interrupted by his door opening.

Ellana startled, clearly not expecting Cullen to be standing right near the door.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked.

"Oh! Um, not long…" Cullen said as he turned and rubbed the back of his neck while walking briskly over to his desk and started shuffling papers around.

"Ok, um. So you didn't see me coming?" she asked following him over to his desk.

"Uh, NO! I mean, I.. I was lost in thought."

"Must have been pretty deep if you didn't see me coming."

"I was just thinking of, um, last minute details before we head out today."

Cullen's face was red again, she didn't understand why he always seemed so nervous around her — although, she had always suspected it had to do with her being a mage.

"Is there anything you need from me?" she asked moving over to his bookshelf to see if anything looked interesting enough to borrow. She was always looking for more to read, especially when she couldn't sleep.

"No, I think everything is settled and packed. I expect us to depart on time."

He looked up from his desk to see her standing on her toes looking at the books on his shelves. She was slight and slender, but still had curves that made him weak. Her hair was put up for traveling but some strands were already coming lose and swaying in the breeze coming from his room above.

"Maker!! Don't start thinking about your room!" he scolded himself and flushed as he felt himself stir below the belt.

"Do you mind?" she asked holding out a book, her back still to him (thank Andraste!).

"Er, help yourself if you see something worthwhile. I already have a whole trunk packed myself; they're good for nights I can't sleep." he replied, and having realized what he just said wiped his hand down his face and shook his head trying to think of something other than the weeks ahead in which they would be in such close proximity day in and day out.

"Hazards of the job I suppose. I have the same issue, but I guess you already know that, huh?"

"I am aware of your reasons for making the journey, aside from our task of gaining allies."

"I guess you know a lot more about me than I do about you." Ellana said pulling another book down and opening it to the end. "You probably even know why I opened the book to the last page," she laughed and closed the book.

"I'm not privy to that information, but I'm sure Leliana could tell me." Cullen said looking up to see Ellana walking over to his desk.

"It is scary how much she knows about everyone isn't it?"

"She is certainly good at her job."

"And thorough! I remember she once was able to give me details about various moles that a visitor to Skyhold had. Apparently they were the same shape as… well, it was interesting." Ellana said smiling, a giving a little giggle.

Cullen loved the sounds she made. They were always so melodic and pleasing… "STOP!" he shouted in his own head and cleared his throat.

"So why do you?" Cullen asked, trying to redirect his thoughts.

"Why do I what?"

"Open a book to the last page?"

"Oh! It's so I can see if it has a good ending."

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of reading the book?"

"For some, maybe, but for me it's like a game; you get the final piece but you don't know how it fits until the very end."

"Hmm, I'll have to try that sometime." Cullen said smiling.

"Well, I guess I'll see you in the courtyard in a few then?" Ellana asked tucking the second book under her arm.

"Yes, in a few." Cullen replied and rubbed the back of his neck.

Ellana closed the door behind her and Cullen let out a long sigh. He hadn't realized that he had been holding his breath.


End file.
